Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I just need to let it out.
I'm 18 years old and I'm attending community college, meaning I live at home and commute to my classes. My parents are recently retired and have been going on cruises, vacations, etc. for a few months now. Don't get me wrong, i'm super happy for them, but this just means that for the majority of my time, I'm alone. I am obese and have been for about eight years now, and it's impossible to fathom how many times I woke up and told myself I would do better that day, only to end the night consuming two family-size bags of potato chips, a box of oreos, and a bottle of soda.
These binges have been becoming more frequent. I have no real friends since I graduated from high school and those that attended community college can tell you that it is a very antisocial environment. I don't leave the house anymore unless it's to go to my classes or head to the supermarket and have another binge. I'm depressed, have considered suicide many times, and I feel hopeless. I started going to the gym and bought 10 personal training sessions but I'm too embarrassed to go to my trainer and tell him that not only did i not go to the gym at all, I gained three pounds since the last visit. I feel ashamed to go in there and have the regulars see me getting fatter. I'm too embarrassed to buy new clothes and I only have two shirts that fit me comfortably now. I've reached about 240 pounds at this point. I want to lose the weight, I really do... but I just don't know if I can anymore.
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