This morning I hit -65lbs lost since January and yesterday I made it into the overweight category! The progress pics are from last winter (I think I actually gained about 5lbs more than that pic), at my biggest I was 250lbs. The middle pic is from the end of August when I started Bright Line Eating, which is based on the food addicts anonymous eating plan and has allowed me to start recovering from binge eating disorder. In a nutshell I eat 3 weighed meals each day, I don't snack and I don't eat sugar or flour. I had lost 25lbs in those almost 9 months, really struggling to lose every single pound because I was still binging regularly so it was almost impossible to maintain a calorie deficit. Since I started BLE I haven't binged once and not surprisingly the weight is flying off! I've lost 40 more pounds since August 23, which is mind blowing.
When I was just doing CICO I had to work really hard to eat at my calorie goal, which was around 1700 at that point to lose a pound a week. Now I usually land around 1200 and actually feel full and satisfied. Part of it is that I'm eating TONS of produce--20oz of vegetables and 12 oz of fruit each day. I eat mostly whole foods so they are very satisfying. But also I've eliminated my trigger binge foods so my cravings are mostly gone (occasionally I'll have a craving pop up, maybe once a month, but it no longer has any pull). I started binge eating around age 10 so being able to eat what I intend to eat each day is really freeing and I'm grateful that I found something that works for me. I'd tried a lot of things over the years, CICO, weight watchers, intuitive eating, vegetarianism, just not trying to stop the binges as I often see recommended since lots of people find that any restriction triggers a binge, and nothing allowed me to stop binging. Of course it's amazing that I'm losing weight but it's also a relief to not be in that cycle of binge eating, which affected my self esteem and mental health way more than I even recognized.
I know that moderation is by far the most popular method in this sub, but I tried for over 20 years to eat anything I wanted moderately and I could never do it. I think it's hard to understand if you are able to moderate but some people can't do it. Not eating sugar or flour is a SMALL price to pay to not be a slave to food every day. Before I started it sounded awful and impossible, but surprisingly it's totally fine! I'm not sure if I'll abstain forever or if I'll be able to moderate at some point down the line. It's just impossible to know at this point. I used food as a drug for 23+ years so it will take time to change those pathways in my brain if I can. I take it one day at a time right now; I don't miss sugar and flour today so I don't have to worry about never eating a bagel or ice cream again.
At the beginning of this year I had no idea if I'd be successful this time around or not. I had a lot of false starts since my son was born 4.5 years ago, each one resulting in me being even bigger than before. I'm so glad I kept trying! If you are struggling keep on trying, if I can do it anyone can!
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