Hi all,
I'm 30f and last year, for the first time in my life I got my own place. I lived alone. And all of a sudden I had the time to focus on my diet, to work on fitness, and between April and the end of August I lost 43lbs (221lbs down to 178lbs). I followed CICO strictly, and went swimming for an hour 2-3 times a week.
Everything felt really good and I was basically just on my shit. At the end of August I lost my driving license because I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I couldn't get myself to work, I couldn't get to the pool, I couldn't organise my food the way that I wanted to because shopping was so difficult due to where I lived. I definitely got in a huge self pity festival around this time, but I was stressed like crazy. My hair started falling out.
I tried to keep track of my calories still for a while, and I did. And I didn't realise this until today when I looked, but since then I also lost about another 20lbs, but I'm absolutely fallen off the wagon now. I'm eating things I know are awful. Regularly.
I've since been diagnosed as not having sleep apnea, and got my driving license back. And everything I put together in my life to give me the space and freedom and drive to make the change in my health is now gone.
I moved in with my Grandparents to prioritise organising my finances/paying off debts - and now I have what feels like no control over my diet. My Grandma is forever cooking for me and telling me to eat more and it's really difficult to explain to her that even though she's doing a really lovely thing for me, our bodies work differently and what's healthy for them just isn't healthy for me.
Although, the food that she cooks 9/10 is healthy. It's greens every evening, maybe a potato or 2 and then some meat of some sort. The portions aren't crazy. Maybe there's sauce sometimes.
But not having the control over everything in my diet has seemed to lead to me not paying any attention to it, at all. I'm back to where I was previously, where I can only describe my diet as "modern scavenger" - no planning, almost a surprise to myself every time I discover I need to eat. Dealing with it there and then as if I never could have seen it coming.
I've tried swimming again over the past month or so and it was just difficult. I didn't get anything positive out of it. Controlling my diet would be to turn down my Grandma's offer of cooking for me every day. And she's 88, and she loves it. My Aunt said it gives her a purpose. And I can see that. It's actually hard to stop her from doing it.
I don't know.
I'm just having a whinge.
Unsure what I'm hoping for from posting here.
Just feel a bit at a loss. CICO was perfect for me when I could track everything down to the calorie, but now I can't it seems a lost cause. Anybody else come across this / had similar problems?
[link] [comments]
No comments:
Post a Comment