It always feels so cliche, to get to New Years and have found the motivation to want to make a change. Every year for most of my life, which is 34 years for the record, I start out with the desire to lose weight. And most years I start out like a beast, losing 30-40 lbs in the first few months before inevitably falling back into bad habits and losing the motivation and will power to get back on track.
The year 2020 has been so damn hard, for everyone. It has truly been one of the worst years for my physical and mental health. I am not going into the New Year confident that this will finally be the year that I get my shit together. I am tired, exhausted, and completely unmotivated...but I am also resolved. I am resolved to make a plan and fight like hell to see it through. I am not going into 2021 with rose colored glasses, I know I am going to have to battle to work towards a healthier me. Truthfully, I am not convinced that I have the energy to win this battle but I also don't have a choice anymore.
My weight is affecting my health. I have type 2 diabetes, hypertension, chronic pain and fatigue, GERD, PCOS, gastritis, depression and anxiety. My weight is affecting my confidence. I feel disgusting. I am not happy with who I am or what I look like. All of this in turn affects my marriage and family life. My husband and my daughter deserve a better me. My Mother has a disabling life-long illness and I need to be able to help my Father care for her. All of these things culminate into the driving force behind my WHY.
Now comes the hard part...HOW. It is all so easy in theory. I mean, I know what needs to be done to lose weight and improve my health. Actually doing it though...it is time to show myself what I am truly made of and who I truly am.
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