So I'm just coming out on the other side of a deep depression. Towards the end of 2020 I was consuming mostly fast food and reached my heaviest weight ever (185lb, I'm 5'3"). I was working 12+ hour days in a physically and emotionally draining job, and I had zero energy to do anything after work other than binge on junk then sleep.
In January and February my depression got even worse, and I actually went totally the opposite and lost my appetite entirely. I've always been an emotional eater so this was completely foreign to me. I lived off of ensure and lean cuisine mac and cheese, as those were the only things I could force myself to eat. Needless to say, I dropped 15lbs very quickly and felt very ill.
Now that I've switched jobs, started a new medication regime, and had an eye opening health scare, I'm trying to find a healthy middle ground while hopefully losing some weight. I've limited myself to one fast food meal per week, got a meal kit subscription, drink mostly water, etc. In the past when I tried to diet I always go too strict and set myself up for failure so I'm trying to just make small adjustments. I'll admit too that I find calorie counting really tedious and annoying; it's hard enough to convince myself to cook, but then if you add on top that I need to figure out the calories for each amount of each ingredient and plug it all in to some app? That's too overwhelming and I'll just end up giving up and ordering a pizza.
Now that I've typed this all out I feel so whiny. The thing is, I struggle just to do simple things like getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, showering, etc, so something like losing weight just feels entirely too much to even think about. I just don't want to continue causing damage to my body while I'm working on the basics. And yes, I am in the market for a therapist but I lost insurance for awhile and just got it back, and every therapist I can find is booked solid for several months.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for in response here, but I think I just need reassurance and support moving forward, and maybe some ideas for healthy eating while depressed.
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