I (M 22) have delayed committing myself to losing weight for so long. As a result, I now weigh somewhere around 345 lb and am fat and ugly, with no confidence at all.
I always endeavoured to meet my life partner by the time I turned 22, because I was so sure I’d turn my life around by now. But I didn’t, my tomorrow never came as I delayed the start of my fitness journey again, again, and again. I’ve had several chances where I could have met the one, but I’m certain my physique and appearance was always the reason girls lost interest in me, or at the very least, it ruined my confidence to be able to impress them.
I spend most of my life in bed, doing nothing but surfing the internet on my phone/laptop, and wasting away what could be the prime of my life.
I know I have potential: I’m 6’4, funny, I have a good job, and underneath all this fat, I know there’s a good-looking guy. I daydream a lot about the man I could be, the one that has the confidence to go outside and explore the world, meet new people, experience new things, and impress people instead of feeling like I need to hide myself from society. As I write this paragraph, I can’t help but think of Patrick Bateman, who’s completely self-obsessed with his appearance, and will go to extremes to maintain it. Of course, nobody should aspire to completely be like Bateman, but maybe this is a part of him that I ought to be like. That is, if I want to pull myself out of the scenario that I’m in. You can always be thinner, look better.
I feel like I’m running out of time. I may be in my early 20s, but I’ve delayed turning my life for a while, and I’m just mentally drained thinking about how I’ve been stuck as a fat, lazy, ugly dump truck for so long. The best time to change myself was in the past. The second-best time is now. I can’t afford to waste any more of my youth if I want to make the most of it. And that’s why I have made the intention to reach 220 lb by the 25th of November of this year, meaning I’ll have 159 days to lose around 120 lb. I chose this date because it’s Black Friday, a good time to replace your wardrobe after losing a ton of weight.
I do not make this intention lightly. I know it sounds extreme, but I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight within a short period before, and there are many other people in my situation who have made it work. I know what the process I must commit to is, and I’m confident that I can pull it off. I also know there will be a bunch of people who will say I should stick to only losing 2 lb or 1% of my body weight per week, but I can do a much classier job. I’m capable of making great change, the only thing stopping me is my mind - I’ve been my greatest enemy, but now I’m going to make myself a close friend.
Because I want to fit in.
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