I've been making incremental lifestyle changes to acheive a sustainable calorie deficit for about a year now, i lost 50lbs and was just 10lbs from my goal! I was feeling satiated, happy, healthy, and proud. My skin got clearer and i had more energy.
But all of a sudden, about 2.5 weeks ago i started eating insane amounts of food. Every day I've gone to the gas station or walmart and bought just piles of junk and ate it uncontrollably past the point of comfort. I feel literally posessed, like i am in a trance, outside of myself watching my body eat and eat, i can't stop. I wake up and my first thought every day is about unhealthy food. It's like an unignorable constant itch. Yesterday i managed not to buy anything and I ended up eating an entire container of frosting from the back of my fridge. I've gained like 10 lbs back, I know some of that is water but it's still so discouraging.
i just don't understand myself at all. I don't have a history of binge eating or any ed, I'm not particularly stressed or hormonal, no illness, no drug use, no life changes, and no new meds. I was eating junky foods in moderation before so it's not like i was on a stringent program or felt restricted. Right after overeating i feel so uncomfortable and so motivated to do better going forward and then an hour later I'm eating again. It's like my brain broke in two for no reason. All the introspection, empowerment and accomplishments of a whole year have gone out the window, I'm just so defeated and kind of scared.
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