Before we get into the ''They weren't a good person if that's why they left you...'' talk.
I want to really focus in on the insecurities a big person might feel in the dating world.
Lights off during sex? Wearing flattering clothes to hide the lumps? Black tops? Eating a salad during a date?
Maybe these are all things that I've done and no one else. If this is NOT you; then I applaud you for being a spicy confident specimen.
But that's not me. i FAKE THE FUNK for sure. I dance, joke, talk, and move like I'm Gal Gadot. It truly helps me to pretend I'm someone else.
But oh buddy, when those hands get placed on my hips or the knickers are coming off --- I get scared. Anyone else wear a control top during sex? Just me?
I've been hidden from friends and family. Even though the guy was like my best friend and the sex was AMAZING. I never met his family or his friends.
This has happened a few times.
OR i was the AMAZING sex and I was denied as a ''drunk only'' hookup. Even though we had sex on and off from 2am to 8am. And he drove us home AND cooked me breakfast.
BUT BABIES....
I am seriously DONE questioning whether or not my SIZE is the reason I haven't had a FULL-BLOWN: meet your family, and your friends, announce it on Facebook, show me off to the world, be by my side RELATIONSHIP.
I F****ING want that so bad. I had something happen to me recently...I was rejected. (I wrote about our encounter in a previous post.) After what I thought was an amazing encounter and friendship. Kissing, talking, watching movies, making out. And then shame. He ghosted me.
And I have been hit on by men that are strictly into BBW. Is it wrong that this makes me feel like a piece of meat over being a person? Like i'm so bizarre that you want to do me because of my size?
I just genuinely want someone to respect me, be proud of me, and love me for me
ugh. Sorry for the Corny. haha.
I pray at least ONE person can relate.
Thanks for the ears. tt4n.
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