I'll start out by just saying that I had a horrible day - nothing was going right, it was news years eve, and I decided to stay in, lie in bed and eat some comfort food. I could have gone out and celebrated the new year, but I decided to stay in and (lets be honest) feel sorry for myself.
But when the clock just struck 12 I heard the first fireworks going off .... and I realised that I regretted dwelling on my day so much that I missed experiencing something incredible. I ran to the nearest window and realised I couldn't even see the fireworks, though I could hear them - and if I had pulled my head out of my ass earlier my whole night could've gone differently
Super long winded, I know, but all of this put into perspectives all of my weight struggles and the constant cycle of gaining and losing weight - I spent too long this year dwelling on my weight and drowned in my own self-doubt and insecurity. Like it did today, I sabotaged myself and missed out on so many experiences because I disliked myself and it wasn't until it was too late that I decided to make a change.
I don't know if anyone actually read all of that - all I know is that this is a message to myself and anyone who has felt the same way. This year I plan to start living my life so that I have no regrets later - whether that means cutting down on the sugar, doing a bit more exercise and going through a bit of temporary pain, I know that it's worth it in the long run. Because I don't ever want to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience just because I don't love myself enough.
Happy New Year everyone!! Here's to smashing all our goals in 2019!
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