So on Friday of last week I walked in the front door from a family funeral to find that my boyfriend of 2.5 years had packed himself a bag and was leaving me without any warning or indication that he wasn’t happy with me. It was the biggest shock I’ve ever had in my entire life. I thought I was going to faint. The city we lived in is very expensive so this breakup means I can no longer live there either. So in an hour I lost my partner, my home, and my proximity to all my friends and the people I love. I turned 30 a month ago with a partner I loved, a home I had lovingly created with that person, and a beautiful future ahead. I’m now single and living in my parents spare bedroom while job hunting. Life, eh?
Normally when I’m dealt a bad thing, I either stress binge all kinds of crap or I lose my appetite entirely and can’t bring myself to eat. Neither is how I want to respond from now on.
One of the only sticking points in my relationship was my desire for a healthy lifestyle and his desire for it, but not the commitment to make that happen. He gained about 40lbs during our relationship. I put back on 10 after losing much more before we met. So I decided that the thing that was going to come out of this breakup was that I would make the progress I wanted to, because it’s the only thing he was in any way holding me back from. So I’ve made a clear effort every day to eat something and to eat well. I’ve been to my old yoga studio every day, and to an aerobics class last night.
The first 24 hours I had no appetite. None. But I forced myself to eat a banana, a salad, and make myself a smoothie. Every other day I’ve been able to eat two solid, healthy meals with small snacks when needed. I have been eating how I wanted to eat with him. I even got takeout yesterday and for the first time IN MY LIFE managed to make myself order something healthy and only eat until I was full, not eat the entire huge portion.
I’m hoping these habits can continue now, and that maybe the ex will see how well I’m doing when we meet up to discuss apartment things in a month or so and be inspired to do what he couldn’t before. But maybe he won’t, and that’s okay. I’ll keep going.
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