I have no reason not to lose weight - I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, lymphedema. My legs hurt, my knees hurt, I can't walk up one flight of stairs without being winded, my clothes don't fit anymore. I'm almost 300 lbs at 48 years old. I'm so ungodly miserable.
I'm depressed because I can't lose weight, and I can't lose weight because I'm depressed.
12 years ago I had gastric bypass and lost 130 lbs in a year. Slowly gained it all back. In 2018, through keto and exercise, I lost 60 lbs, slowly gained it back. Now I weigh more than either of those times in my life.
I feel like such a failure. I feel that people are judging me. All the time. Everywhere. I don't travel to places I want to go to because I don't want a seat belt extender and I can't walk more than a block or so without needing to rest. I can't have surgery again. I'm killing myself - literally - by each piece of food I put in my mouth.
I've heard so many times that losing weight "at my age" is harder. I think I will just continue to fail, over and over, until I die. I'm giving up on my life because of food. It's ridiculous when I say it out loud.
I work in healthcare! I know all the right ways to eat healthy, I have an MPH! I know all about taking your time and how you need to be happy about small progress, and I feel unprofessional and uncared for and it's 6:04 at night and I'm ready to go to bed because I'm just so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. All. The. Time.
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