RANT. I’m just really disgusted with society rn. I’ve lost about 15-20 lbs since the start of this school year. I’m an average height, have a fair amount of muscle, and carry my weight really well (bust and hips, small waist).
I like to go out with my friends to clubs and have been doing so all year. At the beginning of the year, occasionally guys would come up to us, but mostly to hit on my prettiest friend who is fairly thin. Once again I was one of the largest in the group, something I’ve experienced my whole life. Growing up I was very ugly, and being fat didn’t help.
Now that I’m older my face has changed, but I still feel ugly. But now that I’ve lost a little weight, the difference when we go out is staggering. I have never understood the joke “you’ll have to fend off the boys with a stick” until now. I didn’t think it was actually real. Now that I’m a normal weight, I can’t go five minutes without some guy or girl trying to hit on me. It’s crazy, and I can’t even enjoy my night because of how often I’m being interrupted.
I just can’t believe that something as small as 20 freaking pounds could make such a difference with how people treat me. I have the same wardrobe, act the same, go out with the same people. I’m the same damn person.
I just didn’t think beauty standards were so messed up that such a small amount of weight could completely change the way the world sees me and treats me. And as a woman, it’s not even fun. I just feel like everyone wants to use me for sex or hurt me :(
Mentally I’m full of anxiety and still feel like the ugly fat girl. My whole life I’ve felt like people were always watching me. The difference is now they actually are, and I hate it.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar or have any tips with how to cope?
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