Not sure if this is the right sub, I just really need to vent and maybe it will help myself come to realization.
As the title says... I feel absolutely disgusted by myself. I physically feel like shit, compared to what I used to look like, I look like shit, and I’m too fucking sad about it to make a change. I used to be super into the healthy lifestyle and workout 5 days a week and ate super healthy. Not quite sure where/when I stopped caring, but I’ve put on 40 pounds since my lowest weigh. I now weight the most I ever have in my life. I feel depressed, lethargic, pity, anger at myself for letting it spiral out of control, and regret. I keep making excuses like “I’m too tired”, “my back hurts”, “my knee hurts so I can’t run”, “I want to workout but oh wait my head hurts so may as well put it off till tomorrow”... I don’t even want to have sex with my husband because I feel gross naked.
I have tried to just buy healthy food, but I’m too tired/lazy to cook it so it all goes to waste and we end up ordering out. I also work with a bunch of lunch loving people so we’re always going out and I find it hard to order healthier options because they make comments about it.
Ughhh. Like I said, maybe I just needed to vent.
TLDR; I’ve put on 40 pounds and feel disgusting and am too lazy to make a change to make myself happy again.
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