In the past few years, I've managed to lose 30 lbs and keep it off. I still want to lose another 10-15.
I just went through the worst breakup of my life this summer. I really loved the guy, thought we were going to get married and have babies together, thought we were going to change the world together. When he cheated on me and dumped me I was devastated.
Then I entered a three month cave of despair where I basically just tried to weather it out and survive. Wrestled intensely with suicidal thoughts and feelings. I drank a ton. Like, 5-10 shots a night. Ate like crap. Nearly became alcoholic. Didn't weigh myself, didn't care. I was sure I gained a fair amount of because I felt immensely fat and undesirable, and my clothes were tighter.
I feel like I'm emerging from said cave of despair back into a happier life where I can look forward and see a hope and a future for myself, finally. Out of all the things that went to pot this summer and fall, I just assumed my weight was one of them because I felt so fat.
But I weighed myself this morning and I only gained 3 lbs. I'm kind of in shock. I'm realizing now that the weight I felt was probably bloat from all the drinking I was doing. Also when you're struggling with low self esteem after a blow like that, sometimes your view of yourself can be distorted.
I'm just thankful that out of all the other things I need to do to put my life back together, re-losing the weight I lost earlier isn't one of them.
I'm feeling fresh motivation to lose the rest of that weight. Onward to bigger and better things!
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